To you
by Dancerslife
Summary: How is it, that we've started a whole relationship on letters?
1. Chapter 1

So I don't own anything.... Except the story idea :)

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_To you:_

_You may not believe me, but as soon as I got to the airport I went to a gift shop and bought a notebook and found a pen in my bag. I just left you at your apartment, nearly a half hour ago, and it seems like I'm going through a withdrawal already. I have a feeling I'm going to wake up from my flight needing to smell that perfume you bought. It's hard to believe that I just met you three days ago when it seems like I've known you my entire life. But because I've only met you three days ago, I want to know more about you. What makes the woman underneath the must have business suits tick?_

The door to the café opened; the bell on the handle jingling as it opened. Will was entranced by something in his paper and couldn't stop the woman from spilling the coffee next to him. He hadn't noticed anything around him, until he felt the heat pooling around his feet. A dark haired woman looked up, with an apology dancing in her eyes, and a guilty smile playing at her lips. "I'm clumsy," the woman chuckled. "I… I," She couldn't get anything out.

"I'm Will by the way," He said helping her to her feet. He watched the employees try and clean up the spilt coffee.

"Karen," It was at the moment she spoke, he took her in. She was dressed in a pair of black dress slacks, a long black coat covering up a white blouse, and a pair of heels. Her face slightly pale, with her lips painted in red. She looked like she was coming or going from somwhere.

_My Friday had not been going well until I felt the coffee's heat against my ankles. You looked so nervous and so guilty, I wanted to laugh, but it didn't seem to be completely appropriate. I don't know how many times I'm going to tell you this, but I'm sorry for nearly dragging you out and demanding that I take you to lunch. You were so surprised that I did that, but it felt necessary. You kept telling me through lunch that you should pay for it, that it should have been you paying for it. But I guess it's me being a little bit chauvinistic. _

"I love this," Karen said, hours after the coffee incident and lunch. She was pointing at a picture of a small town illuminated by the city lights. "It reminds me of home,"

"Where is home?" Will asked her, coming up next to her to look at the photograph.

"A small town." Karen said laughing. "Made up of maybe 500 people, with everyone knowing what's happened and when."

"Doesn't it get irritating?" He asked as he ushered her away from the photograph.

"It was at first, then we moved and I've never been back, so I wouldn't know now."

_When you told me about not going back to the place you called home, it didn't seem that you were at all heartbroken about it. You seemed sad, but not angry. That was the last time you mentioned it. I didn't want to push because it didn't seem like you wanted to talk about it. The next morning, when I introduced you to my parents they told me near lunch how different you were, from the way you looked. You were dressed in a pair of dress slacks, a collared blouse, very businesslike, and not the carefree woman who chased my nephew around. It definitely surprised me, but probably not as much as my parents. _

"Dinner was amazing," Karen said as her and Will made their way out of the restraint. She slipped her arm through his, and continued to walk down the street with linked arms. "I didn't know this place even existed."

"I've been here once or twice," He admitted. "I like fancy dinners every once in a while, but take-out and simple stay at home dinners are good enough."

"Take out sounds good every day for me," She added a laugh at the end. "It seems that's all I do is eat at fancy restaurants." She could feel his body tense through his arm. "I lived a different life a couple years ago. I was married to a millionaire, correction, billionaire, and it seems as if I'm coming down from it. Have you ever been married? Are you married?" She asked, detangling her arm.

"No to both questions. I almost got married, but I told my fiancée at the time that I couldn't marry her because I was gay." He looked up into her hazel eyes, and watched them fill with pain.

"You're gay?" Her voice barely a whisper, full of devastation. Her eyes starting to water.

"I don't know," She scoffed. "I don't know if I am because yesterday in a coffee shop I met this woman and she's done something to me," He told her taking a few steps towards her. He took her face in his hands and suddenly felt like a teenager. She wouldn't look up at him, but with a tilt of her head with his index finger, a tear rolled down her cheek. He slowly lowered his head to hers, pressing his lips against hers. He could feel her relax in his hold and slowly he pulled away. He rested his forehead against hers, and could see her smile.

_I probably scared you that moment when I told you I was gay. You seemed so devastated, which surprised me. It may have prompted me to kiss you too. You, at that moment, seemed completely lost. If I hurt you I didn't mean to. In the three days that I've known you, I've felt something that is unexplainable to me. It may be love, or it may be something else. But whatever it is, I'm glad it's there. _

"So you'll call me when you get to wherever you're going?"Will nodded and Karen's question. "Where are you going?"

"To be honest, I have no idea." Will said as he put his suitcase on the ground next to them. She stuffed her hands in the pockets of her jeans, a pair of pants she'd allow no one but Will and a few other people to see. He took her face in his hands, like he had done the day before. "Hey, "He whispered. "The first thing I do as soon as I get off the plane will be to call you." She nodded her head and leaned up to kiss him, slowly.

"I'm going to miss you," She whispered. She admitted it and it surprised her. After two days of knowing him, she was going to miss him. A person she hardly knew she was going to miss terribly. "I don't know why, but I am."

"I'm going to miss you too," He laughed and kissed her forehead. He turned to take her in one more time before getting into the cab. He watched her image disappear in the mirrors. The image of Karen he was going to remember, until he saw her again, was the woman in the white blouse, a pair of old jeans, and a pair of sandals. The woman who wasn't paying any attention to what the world thought of her.

_I just got off the phone with you and to hear your voice after eight hours was wonderful. When you realized that it was me calling, you sounded relieved. You sounded as if you could breathe again. You asked me how the ride was. You asked me if I had sat next to anyone who annoyed me. I answered all of them no, because honestly I wasn't paying any attention to who was around me. I was thinking of you, standing in front of your building telling me you're going to miss me. And that's when I realized how much I'm going to miss _you._ In the three days that I spent with you, I was alive. I was myself completely. I couldn't hide anything from you. Everything I told you was true. _

_I'll talk to you soon, I promise. _


	2. Losing You and Trust

_To you:_

_When I was a child I had long hair. My hair hasn't always been short, which I know you were wondering. My sister had the short hair, well it seemed short since she had the curly hair gene and I had the straight. My mother for some unknown reason, didn't enjoy having my hair down, so she insisted that it was up in a ponytail or bun for most of my childhood. It did get annoying, but when I left home I took it upon myself to cut it. I cut my hair and didn't plan on returning. _

"Kiki," Lois said, taken aback. "What happened to your hair?"

"I cut it," Karen said stating the obvious; adding a bit of an eye roll.

"Why?"

"Because I felt like it mom. I didn't need your permission to go out and do something that I wanted to do." Karen said, feeling the unknown anger rising."I'm not your little girl mom. I'm a woman who needs to find herself. And so help me if you say that you were just trying to help by showing me to the world you can leave." Karen said pointing to the café door. For some unknown reason, when Karen's sister called saying that her and their mother were going to be in town, Karen agreed to meet them. It wasn't too much of a surprise when it was only Lois who showed up.

_I've never had a 'relationship' with my parents. Not like you have with yours. If I had the kind of relationship with your parent's, I don't think I would have gotten married to money. I might have waited. I married money because that's what I grew up with. The theory that money was able to solve any and all problems, when in actuality, money only makes a person sadder. There is that brief moment though, when your able to buy something for yourself, when you feel complete, and then it fades away when you go and buy something else. It never stays. Kind of like my ex husband. _

_"_Where are you going Stan?" Karen asked, watching her husband try and pass the front room without being distracting.

"Out," He said non chalantly, as if she were a friend and he wasn't telling her the truth. An aspect she picked up on quite easily.

"You're going to need to sign the divorce papers one of these days Stan. I'm sure Lorraine can wait five minutes." He pulled a pen out of his front pocket and quickly signed the papers, tossing them on the couch besides her.

"There." He said before slamming the door behind him. He signed away their marriage and their money, which wasn't completely surprising to her. It just confirmed what she had been dreading. He left her.

_You said you wanted to get to know me better. I don't know what you meant by that. If you want to know my favorite color; it's purple. My favorite flowers are roses and orchids. My favorite thing to do when I want to spend time alone, I read or I take walks. I'm not some cold hearted bitch some people seem to think I am. Just because I was married to money at one point in my life, it doesn't define me. At least not anymore. _

_I'm sitting here on a beach across the country in California. I couldn't be in my apartment with the smell of you still lingering. I woke up the morning after you left expecting you to be there. It wasn't the fact that you weren't there that scared me, it was the fact that I wanted you there and realized that you being by my side seemed like a possibility. So I had to leave my apartment and get some fresh air I guess you can say. And I hate this place, because it reminds me of you, and us. _

"I wonder how many times they've announced not to feed the birds," Karen said, leaning further into Will's chest, his arms draped around hers. His fingers drawing circles in her arms. "I think people get the idea that throwing bread in the water is not a good thing." She laughed lightly.

"You want to take a walk around the lake?" He asked, shifting to the side a little, to look at her. She nodded and he placed a kiss to her forehead. He got to his feet, helping her to hers, and pulling her in close. "This, is what I'm going to miss the most I think."

"What the lake? I'm sure you can find another one," She laughed.

"No. You and me. Walking." He said quietly. "Being close. If I could, I'd fold you up and put you in my suitcase."

"Where is all this coming from? We've known each other for what is it, thirty six hours? And you want to bundle me in your suitcase?" From a distance they could see Marilyn and George walking towards the edge of the lake, taking her attention away briefly. She hadn't realized he stopped until she felt the pull from behind. He had a straight face and it was filled with something that she couldn't identify.

"I met you yesterday in a coffee shop. After nearly burning me with cpffee, I took you out to lunch and to dinner and to breakfast this morning. My friend would have thrown a fit if she heard I did that voluntarily. She usually has to fight me on it. I did this for you. Whatever you did, it made me fall from somewhere for you. That's where it's coming from. Where ever I fell for you is where this is coming from. "Karen, through his speech went from the look of shock to a huge smile. It was the complete opposite of what she was expecting, but it was nice to hear it.

_I've never trusted anyone In my life. I've had a hard time trusting myself, to tell you the truth. But then I met you and I felt like you could have my life in your hands and I wouldn't be scared. If I was on my death bed I'd trust you with choosing life or death for me. Whatever you did, I was able to make that decision. I spent the night with you before you left and I was okay with that. After my divorce I couldn't bring myself to sleep with someone unless it was my husband. I, at first, didn't want to do anything with you, but I let myself go, so to say. _

"Turn of the lights Kare," Will groaned, rolling over and pulling Karen further into his side. The heat of her body, a warm welcome.

"The lights aren't on." She whispered. "The curtains are opened."

"Why?"

"I woke up earlier," She replied. She turned and nestled herself into the crook of his arm, allowing herself to drift back into sleep. The next thing she felt was coldness, a feeling she was used to, but didn't like. "Hey," She said rolling over on to her stomach, looking at Will who was dressed in a pair of beige pants, sitting in a wicker chair by the window.

"Hey," He replied with a smile.

"You okay?" She asked, resting her head on the palms of her hands. He took a look at the woman in the bed. Bare shoulders, bare back, her legs and part of her chest wrapped by a sheet; it was an unknown feeling of bliss.

"I'm perfect," He said getting to his feet, before dropping a kiss to her shoulder and kneeling in front of her. "I don't think I can lose you,"

The admittance surprised her but warmed her heart in some way. "I don't plan on going very far," She smiled before getting a kiss. She wasn't planning on going very far if it wasn't with him.

_So California is pretty far, but by the time you get this letter I'll already be home. A place that I'd never think I'd be able to call home. It was just supposed to be temporary until I found something else that I liked. But after you being in it, it's home now. My home that I shared with you for a weekend. _

_Talk to you soon. _


	3. Soulmates and A Game

_To you,_

_ I have a month left here and then I can come home. It's not that I don't enjoy doing this; it's just that my client has decided he wants to leave money to his children and his ex wife when he dies. His wife now isn't too happy with that idea. After they left my 'office' his wife came back in and made sure that his ex wife's name was off of the will. She was okay that his children got money just not the ex-wife. She says that the woman has always been a gold digger. _

_ I'll be sending you one or two more letters, depending on how much time I have away from angry clients. I just need time to myself sometimes, to deal with paper work or just to write to you or a thought of two down and my phone is ringing nonstop. It would be nice to have a phone call from someone I'd like to hear from. _

"This is Karen. I'm either out or away from the phone. Leave a message." She could hear her phone ringing from a distance through the window she forgot to close.

"Hey Kare Its Will. Just wanted to call to tell you I got your bundle of letters today. It's nice to know you're thinking of me so often. I should be coming home in a month and a half, maybe less, I'm not sure. I don't know if you have call waiting but call me back if you can. Love to hear from you." She heard his voice and she flung open the door and made a bee line for the phone.

"Will?" She asked into it. "Will?" But there was no one. She played the message again, just to make sure she wasn't hallucinating.

_If I can, I'm going to bring you to a place like this. It's going to be some place that's exotic and a place where we can escape to; escape from civilization and live in a two person world for a while. It would be a place with sand, so we can run in the sand, like we did that morning before breakfast. It was a short jog, but it was good. Now just imagine that on a beach it's going to be great. _

_ I haven't been able to keep in contact with anyone really except through letters, but have you talked to my parents? Have you seen my parents again? In one of my letters from my parent's, the only letter from my parents, my mom could not stop telling me about how impressed she was that I brought you instead of Grace. Grace, usually is who I bring to family functions, but this wasn't one of them. She was happy that I brought you. Pleased that she was able to talk to someone other than my brothers or my dad, or even my nephew. _

"Will," He heard his mother call. She had a glass of wine in one hand and a water bottle in the other. She handed him the water. "Who's the lady friend you brought?"

"She's a friend of mine. Decided to bring her a long instead of Grace." He told her honestly. They watched Karen chase Jordy and a three year old Casey. They were playing with some sort of ball, trying to get it out of each other's grip. He hadn't realized until then that her shoes weren't on her feet.

"You like her," Marilyn pointed out, voicing something he himself didn't want to admit. "Or maybe you love her?"

"I just met her yesterday mom," Will informed her, watching Casey attach herself to Karen's leg. "But there is something about her,"

"She seems to enjoy your company Will," Marilyn smiled. "Kids let's go inside for some lunch," The children groaned but ran inside after their grandmother. Karen slowly approached Will who had an open arm for her to fit into. He dropped a kiss to her hair and felt the arm wrap around his back. Did he like her? Definitely. Did he love her? Extremely possible.

_ I didn't tell you this before, but I fell in love with you that weekend. I wasn't completely sure, but it was when you were playing with my niece and nephew, my mom pointed it out to me and it seemed to be true. When we walked into the house you fit so perfectly into my side. The puzzle finally had all the pieces and they are finally getting to fit together. _

_ Have you ever loved something so much that no matter how high they asked you to jump, you wanted higher? It may not have been with your ex-husband, but have you ever done something you never regretted because of the one person you did it with you happened to be madly in love with? I had myself convinced that I was gay. That there was no woman who was able to make me see things differently. In the paper that morning, I was looking up places to live. I was planning on moving, but if you're in New York, I'm staying. If you're not then I'm leaving. _

_ There was something inside of me that decided I needed to protect you. From who, I don't know. From what, I don't know. Maybe from your ex husband and maybe from the world. But whatever it is, I'll be there to help you. I'll be there for you. _

"Jordy, give the plates to Karen," Marilyn had instructed her grandson. Karen took the plates with a smile and handed them off to Will. It had been turned into a chain; Marilyn would scrape off the plate's who then hand them to Jordy who'd wipe them off a little, hand them to Karen, then to Will who'd wash them. Occasionally Karen and Will would switch.

It had became a game; trying to touch each other without being completely obvious. Brush of the fingers when passing the plates off; brush of the arm when trying to put plates off in the cupboard; they were trying, but it was hard.

It was when Jordy began to tell stories and Karen began to laugh that he realized he could be doing this 'family' thing for a while. He shook his head at the thought, turning Karen's attention away from the boy to him. "You okay?" She asked, standing close by. He nodded his head and brushed her arm once again.

Touching her was the game. Being with her was the trophy.

_Jordy, while you were playing with Casey in the front room, asked me about soul mates and if I believed in them. I do. I've seen what happens when people who aren't soul mates and I've seen people who are. Take my parents for instance, my dad has had this affair with this woman Tina, claims to love her and not my mother, but when it comes down to it, they stayed together through thick and thin. I guess if you keep finding a way back to them, then it's supposed to happen. They are supposed to be with you for the rest of your life. You look at them in the eyes and you'll be at complete peace. You'll be in their arms and you'd just know that you never want to leave. Finding your soul mate is simple. But letting them go in the end, is so much harder. _

_ My phone is once again ringing and I need to take it. But I will talk to you soon. I promise you that. _

_ Talk to you soon, love. _


	4. Family and Safety

_To you, _

_ Is it odd that you're sitting in the next room, talking with Grace and Jack, and I'm hiding in your bathroom writing a letter? There is so much I feel like I have to tell you, but I just don't know when or how, and a letter, makes it better in a way. I don't need to hear you protesting or accepting things right away. I can tell you things like, I've been pregnant before and I've had a miscarriage or when I'm with you there is nothing else that matters. It's been three days since you've come back and you're there to catch me if I fall. But the question is, will you catch me? _

"Flight 56 final boarding call. This is Flight 56 final boarding call." Karen walked up to the main flight board, looking for Will's flight. It was on time. "Flight 111 now landing." Karen turned her head to find the gate, asking various attendants to find the right gate. It opened and she saw people coming down the ramp.

Will was looking around for Grace and Jack, wanting to see them, wanting to apologize for not contacting them sooner. He saw a flash of red hair and a blimp of light blue. He was ready to call for them until he felt his cell phone ringing. "Hello?"

"Will?" It was Karen. "Hey,"

"Hey, where are you?"

"I'm at the airport," He was going to reply when he saw her face feet away. She closed her phone and ran for him. He dropped his bag getting ready to catch her. She threw her arms around his neck and his wrapped around her waist, holding her close. "I've missed you," She whispered. He let go, slowly dropping her to the floor. It was when he kissed her forehead, did he realize it was Grace and Jack watching him. He smiled at them, causing Karen to turn around and blush slightly.

"Grace, Jack, this is Karen," He said, wrapping an arm around her waist, pulling her into her side.

_You're friends are amazing Will. Grace loves you. Jack loves you. They may be asking you for your money almost all the time, but it's true, they do love you. You're their rock. You're always there it seems waiting for them to burst through the door and start talking about their problems or successes. It could be two in the morning and you could be in deep sleep, and if they come knocking, you're there to talk. _

"Tell me something," Will said sitting cross legged on the bed with Karen sitting against the head board of the bed.

"What?"

"Anything," He said smiling. "Tell me about your childhood." Her face dropped. "That bad?"

"You read the letter, you know." She said bring her legs closer, wrapping them in the throw blanket that was on the bed.

"So you're dad left you. I'm sure there were other semi decent parts.

"Sure, if you count being told that you need to act like you're a prostitute to get money then yeah that was a really decent part. Or maybe you consider being told that when you get older there isn't going to be anyone to love you, because you won't be able to differentiate the truth from a dream. My childhood was far from decent. It was hell. My twenties were decent only because I didn't care." She said looking at him, her voice wavering with anger as she spoke.

She watched him stand up from the bed and before she knew it she was being pulled off the bed and standing. He ran his finger through her hair resting his hand at her nape. "You're not a prostitute and you have someone who loves you. You may not be able to tell the difference between the truth and the dream because the truth is the dream." He said resting his forehead against hers. He brushed his nose against Karen's, causing her to giggle, before pressing his lips against hers.

"I love you," She whispered. She didn't know if he had heard her, but she was glad that she had voiced it. She needed to. The truth was building up in her for two months, after reading the letters, she felt closer to him. And now that it was out, it was freeing.

_I can hear you laughing through the door. You're probably wondering where I am. Wondering what's so damn important that I locked myself in. If you knew me before, me locking myself in the bathroom meant that I was going to do drugs. I'd hide is somewhere in my bathroom or stick it in a pocket in my purse. To be honest, there isn't a day when I open a drawer and thinking that there is going to be a bag of cocaine in the far back. I haven't done drugs for nearly six and a half years. If you knew me when I quit, I fell of the face of the planet. I signed myself up for rehab in a different country and I stayed. I admitted myself after I had my miscarriage. _

_ I never had a real family, as I've said in previous letters. But when I'm with you and your friends, I'm happy. I feel like I can do anything with you. It's been a short time, but when I'm with you I feel like you are my family. Does that seem weird to you? You and I seem to fit so perfectly, we seem to know each other better than people who have known us for years. I don't know how it's happened, but it has. _

"Grace, I'm looking for the jacket that I bought the last week I was here. Have you seen it?" Will asked coming out of his bedroom and into the kitchen, where Grace, Karen and Jack were sat. Will carefully traced a finger down Karen's back. He wasn't standing far, but not close enough to to make his friends wonder.

"It's in your closet," Will nodded and went to go find it, only being stopped by the gentle hand that belonged to Karen.

"The tan one you wore the night before you left?" He nodded. "Don't wear that one. You should wear the black one. You look good in black." With that she dropped his hand and he smiled at the stunned Grace. They went out as soon as Will had found the black jacket Karen nearly insisted on.

"She knows you," Grace said as she linked arms with Will, watching Karen and Jack in front of them. "She really knows you."

"What do you mean?"

"Just wait," She said with a smile, walking farther ahead of the three of them, leaving Will to wonder.

Karen had bought him a gold watch for his birthday. A birthday she had missed, wanting to make up for it. He looked up to Grace who was smiling, and watched her mouth 'Told you so'

_I fall in love so easily, Will. I don't know how and or why it happens. I didn't want to meet you at the airport to tell you the truth. I wanted to be chased, I wanted to be courted. I wanted to know that whoever wants me will fight for me. I want to take things slow, knowing that if something will happen, you'll be there for me. I don't want to rush into things in the case that something happens and I lose you. I can't lose you. That's what I've realized while sitting in here for the past five minutes. You, Grace and Jack are my family since I've had none._

_ I do realize that I met Grace and Jack under odd circumstances and I haven't known them for very long, but it's worth it. I've only seen you and who you are in six days and I'm happy with you. I'm more than happy. I'm over the moon. _

_ Talk to you in a second_


	5. Michael and Love

_To you,_

_You're asleep and I have decided to write you a letter. You look so peaceful; there is nothing that could disrupt you right now in your dreams. I felt you wake up earlier and I watched you redress in your tank top and sweats. The sheet is wrapped around you as if you're worried someone will find you in a state that doesn't sit right with you. _

_There is nothing to worry about with Jack and Grace. Grace was unhappy because she always thought that she would end up with me in the end. Jack just doesn't want to lose his protégé, so to say. My parents, whom you've already met, seemed to be okay with the whole thing, but they are just worried. They've seen when I was hurt. They've seen what I've done to myself when I've been hurt and they just don't want it to happen again. That's what they meant when they said that they didn't want to have another Michael catastrophy. _

"Go to hell Will," Karen said coming into her apartment, nearly slamming the door in his face. She threw her black coat down on the couch, getting ready to undo her scarf. "I can't believe you didn't tell me about him!"

"You seriously didn't think that I hadn't had sex with anyone before you did you?" He asked. "I was gay before I met you. I had relationships with men."

"Then what the hell made me so special?" She asked storming off into the kitchen. "Last time I checked I don't have a –" She was stopped by a hand over her mouth.

"What makes you so damn special is that you're different." He said dropping her hand. "You don't make me feel like crap for liking men. The last time I slept with a man was two months before I met you."

"Why the hell should I believe you?" That was what did it. He threw his coat to the floor and in a swift motion brought Karen to his chest and kissed her hard. She began to protest, but it wasn't too long before she melted in his arms, returning the pressure.

"You believe me now?" She didn't say anything, just kissed him again. Softer this time.

_You told me that you loved me again today. You thought I was out of earshot, but when I told you to repeat it; you looked flustered and walked away. You walked right back into our little beach home and I watched you every step of the way thinking how much I loved you. I found your last letter in the bathroom, hours before we left. I wanted to tell you then how much I needed you to be in my life and how I'd never leave you for a second. _

_When I was with Michael it was a different feeling. It was a different situation completely. I was in love with him but it was different than now. I was proud to call him my boyfriend, I was glad to kiss him in public, making everyone who was against it squirm. When it's you and I walking, I want to pull you up on top of whatever the nearest roof is and scream that I'm in love with you. I didn't want to do that with Michael. _

"She's wonderful with children," A man said coming up behind Will and handing him a drink. He took a seat next to him and together they watched Karen interact with the children. "What's bothering you?"

"I'm representing her ex husband. She's supposed to be getting millions, possibly a billion dollars, and I have to either take it all away from her or give it all to her and I don't know what's supposed to make her happy. Money or no money."

"She doesn't look like a woman whose life is ruled by money." The man said, watching as Karen picked up a ball and begun to run. "She's a woman whose life is ruled by family and love."

"She has a family and she has love." Will agreed. "But she had been married to money and it's difficult to say whether or not she still needs it."

"She loves you and needs your love. That's all she need. Money is just another aspect that life brings you." The man said before calling over to the children and watching them run in different directions. Some hugged Karen before going their separate ways.

"Hey," She said coming over to Will who was waiting for her. She took a seat on his lap and he placed an arm over her legs. "What's bothering you?"

"I'm representing Stan." He said quietly.

"I know."

_After telling you about the two drafts of the will that were set up and after you telling me that the kids should have all his money, I was expecting you to lock me out. Lock me out of the room or the house to be honest. But you just continued talking to me about life as if nothing was going on. As if my admittance was just a minor thing and I guess it is. _

_I remember when I told you that we were coming to this island you were surprised. You couldn't believe that I kept my promise. There is a saying in a movie based on a Graham Greene novel which one of his character says, "Never make promises, you may have to keep them." You have to understand Karen that any promises I make to you, I tend on keeping. _

"Will?" Karen called, forcing him to put down his pen and paper. He went over to the bed and lay next down to her. She immediately curled into his side. "I love you,"

"I love you too," He said dropping a kiss to her head.

"I love you Will," She repeated. She sat up and looked at him in the eye. "I love you." She kissed him and smiled.

"Are you okay?" He asked. She looked taken back and moved to get out of his grasp. "Hey. Come on talk to me."

"I haven't told you that I loved you. Not for you to hear anyway." She gave him half a smile.

"But I've heard you every time." She looked shocked. "I wanted you to say it again. I like hearing it." She laughed and kissed him again.

"Good. You'll be hearing it a lot and be getting a lot of it too." She said with a smirk. She got up out of bed and walked over to the doors that led out onto their balcony. She opened them and stepped out, immediately wishing that she had a jacket. It was then that she jacketed by a warm pair of arms, causing her to lean into his chest and smile.

_People like Grace who knew me in college and in high school, if I told them that I had fallen in love with a woman they would have laughed at me. I was pegged early that I was gay. If they had buttons for people who were gay, I would have been the first one they handed one to. I didn't mind really. I got to be friends with everyone, not that it made me happy, but I met Grace. In college, people would whisper behind my back saying I was gay, but I'd flatly deny it. I hadn't even come to terms with it. I knew it, but I didn't want to admit to myself that I was. Not until I met Jack. _

_Jack came out of my closet. No pun intended. He pointed out all the 'gay' things that I did that automatically classified me as being gay. He went from the products that I used in my hair, to the way I wrote my name. Everything about me he dug into. My choice of music. My various brands of clothes that I tended to favor. And he even talked about how uncomfortable I seemed around Grace. It wasn't being in a relationship that scared me. It was when she invited me over to her parent's house to introduce me as her boyfriend. That's when I started to backpedal. _

_Talk to you when you wake. _


	6. Sex and Children

_To you,_

_My life has always been surrounded by children. One way or another it has. When I was sixteen, before I left home, there was a woman who had 3 children all under the age of twelve and they looked up to me for whatever reason they had. When I was in college, I helped my roommate take care of her baby. When I met Stan I helped him raise his children. I love them, I just don't know if I want one of my own. I've tried and it ended in sadness. So why put myself through the fear that another child is going to end up the same way? _

_You on the other hand would be a great father. I'm watching you play with the boy next door and the both of you look so happy. I loved how you just picked him up in a swift motion and was dangling him over the water. A joke my father played on me before he died. He dangled me over the water, just like you did with Maurice and he attempted to drop me and caught me inches before my feet touched the water. I'd laugh and scream just like Maurice is doing. _

"Karen," A man whispered from the six year olds bedroom door. "Karen,"

She rolled over, still covered by the multi colored comforter and smiled at the sight of her father. He beckoned her to follow him and she did. She always followed him. He led her out of the house and down the street to a cliff where the ocean before them was lit up by the moon. "Daddy what are we doing here?"

"You'll never forget this," The man said bending over to pick Karen up. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and leaned her head on his shoulder. "The ocean will put you to sleep just like the rain. The ocean will wake you from your dreams. The ocean will always be with you," The man told Karen. She looked at her father who simply smiled. It was a genuine smile. A smile she'd never see again.

_There are so many things in my life I thought I was going to regret. Like the time I cheated off of Chris Jackson's test. Or the time I stole my mom's car when I was 15 because I needed to get to the store. Things I should have never done in the first place I thought I was going to regret. There were things I hated and would never do again, but I don't regret. Like sleeping with a professor to get a better grade in the class. _

_I can see you're expression already and that was the old me. The money driven just needed to be loved woman. I don't need love anymore nor do I need millions of dollars. I'm happy with my job with Grace and I'm happy at my apartment. When we go back, I don't want to go home alone. I want you to come with me. I want you to call it your home too. I mean you've been there enough times to call it home. I mean I understand you enjoy your apartment because you've had it for a long time, but a new change is good right? _

"Karen," A woman yelled. A twenty one year old Karen Delaney turned and smiled. Her hair down past her shoulders, a decision she made on her own. She was dressed in a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt, with a pair of sandals on her feet.

"What are you doing here?" She yelled at the woman who was running across the street, dodging traffic.

"Have you seen my brother?" Karen shook her head. "I thought you'd have better tabs on your husband."

"I'm not your brother's keeper. He can do whatever he likes." She told her sister in law, tightening the grip on her purse.

"Oh but he does," The woman said forcing Karen to seriously think about what she was saying. "Come on," Karen was taken down the street by the hand of her husband's sister.

She went home hours later and packed her bags, getting ready to move out. She found her husband doing their neighbor. He did whoever and whatever he wanted. She should have known better, since he left his first wife for her.

_The first time I had sex was in the back of a closet. It was at some party that I went to, looking for a friend of mine and the next thing I knew I was in a closet. My clothes came off willingly at the beginning, because I felt safe. I didn't start regretting it until I was being pushed to my knees. I tried to fight it but I wasn't going to win. I was left in the closet and continued to cry. I hadn't experienced pain like that before, but I had a feeling then that I was going to be experiencing it again. _

_I've dealt with all sorts of pain, honey. And there are some that I'm immune to and there are some that put me into a drunken state. Now they'd just get me to cry until I fall asleep and wake up the next morning with a hangover headache. I hated having hangovers though that's why Id just sleep through them and wake up around three in the afternoon. I would drink juice and then throw it up because the acid didn't sit well with the medication that I took. It never made sense to me, but it happened. _

"Mrs. Karen," The sound of Rosario sounded like she was miles away. "Mrs. Karen, Mr. Stan is on the phone. "

"Tell him I'm not home," She said, her orders being muffled by the pillow. She tightened her grip around the pillow, forcing her face into it even more. Karen heard Rosario tell Stan that she wasn't at home and that she was out shopping. She felt the weight of her bed shift, causing her to look to see what the cause was.

"You shouldn't let him do that to you Mrs. Karen." Rosario said quietly. "You're not happy after. You don't let the children in. You don't get up like normal. It's not a pleasant sight to see."

"Get out." Karen said, dropping her head to the pillow. Rosario didn't move. "Don't you have something to clean?"

"You need a good man Mrs. Karen." With that Rosario left the room, making her departure known by the obvious closing of the door.

_My maid, you've met her, Rosario, told me that I needed to find a good man and I think I have now. I don't know if you feel the same way about me, but I know that you love me and for now that's enough. I love waking up in your arms, and I love taking the walks with you along the beach, knowing that next to you is where I belong. With my ex husbands I forced myself to believe that they were the one. The one who I'd be able to fight with, the ways we fight, and end up the way we do. Whether it's talking in front of the fire with wine or tangled up in the sheets. Both endings extremely pleasurable. _

_You're playing in front of me and I feel like I'm going to lose you some way. Something is going to happen and I'm going to lose you. I can't lose you. I can never lose you. I love you too much to lose you without any warning. _

_Talk to you soon. _


	7. Who we were, are, and untold tales

_To you,_

_I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about Grace. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that she was the one I was supposed to be getting married to. But, she'll never admit this; I didn't plan on telling her that I wanted to marry her. I never have. Grace and I made the joint decision not to tell you about 'us' because I knew you were going to pack up a bag and walk out. How I knew is beyond me, but I just knew. And from the way you tensed up at the table I knew that the bags in our closet were going to be used. _

"Karen darling," Bobbie Adler said rather cheery. "What is it that you do?"

"I'm Grace's assistant." Karen said with a smile. "Not that I work much," She winked at Grace who had rolled her eyes.

"William I thought you were gay," Bobbie said to Will who was behind the stove mixing whatever was in it. Will locked eyes with Karen, who was starting to blush.

"So did I," He said with a smile.

"So did a lot of people," Grace said under her breath. Will kicked the back of her leg lightly, causing her to cling to the edge of the counter.

"Are you comfortable Grace working with Karen?" Bobbie asked watching Will place a basket of bread in front of them, kissing Karen's head before returning into the kitchen.

"Why wouldn't I be mom?"

"Well you were engaged to him. I just thought that you would be uncomfortable with working with his newest fiancée," She said eyeing Karen's newly placed engagement ring, the reason for the dinner. His parents were coming soon, but not soon enough.

During Bobbie's reasoning, Karen looked up and locked eyes with Will. He watched the pain and anger slowly build up in her body. It was visible by the way she was holding her fork in her hand, and the way she was sitting up right now, instead of leaning back into the seat. "Excuse me," She said, excusing herself for Bobbie's liking more than anyone else's. She started to retreat into the bedroom, not knowing she was being followed by Will. The first slam caused the Adler women to jump, the second one was expected.

"Karen," Will said, watching her pull out a duffle bag suitcase out of the closet. "I didn't think that-"

"That I was going to find out?" She said throwing it onto their bed. "I've told you who I've slept with. I've told you who I was married to, engaged to, having children with. I've told you my whole life story because I trusted you. I trusted that you would have given me the same respect and told me your life story. But all I've gotten is that you have three brothers. One is divorced. One is happily married to a blonde bimbo. You have a niece and a nephew who adore you. You're parents are crazy but whose aren't? You wanted to become a lawyer because you liked to argue. That's all I've ever gotten from you, from what you've told me. Other things I've had to find out on my own. So excuse me for not being too excited to find out that you were getting married to my boss!" She was stuffing clothes from her closet into the bag, discarding the hangars onto the floor.

"I know you're upset," He said trying to reach for her to stop, but she wouldn't.

"Upset no. Devastated maybe." She told him and then stopped. "Did you sleep with her?"

"What? No." She shook her head and continued to pack. "Karen I didn't sleep with her. The only other woman besides you that I've slept with is Diane and you know this."

"Yeah because I met her by accident at some dinner, whatever it was, that Grace threw." She reminded him. "I wasn't happy then either. I just want you to tell me why you've never told me when I've told you everything."

"I didn't want to hurt you," He said honestly.

"Not telling me hurts even more," She said finally zipping the bag up and pulling it off of the bed. As a last minute attempt he pulled her in and kissed her, hoping that it would change her mind of leaving. He pulled away and he saw the need in her eyes slowly fade away again. "Go to hell,"

_I don't know where you went. I don't know who you went to. I'm hoping you went to Jack's house or Grace's apartment. I sat up for hours after you left on the couch wishing I knew what to do to get you to come back. I was completely lost. Grace and I talked a bit about it and she called Leo asking him to check their apartment to see if you were there. She hadn't gotten a call back and she hadn't called me yet. It was at least two in the morning before I heard the front door open, close and something heavy hit the floor. I knew it was you. _

_I didn't go out there right away because I didn't know what to say. I didn't know if you'd even let me talk to you. I guess I should have tried, now that I think about it. I thought for a while after Grace had gone and I thought that we had known each other less than a year, and we were already getting married. I thought we were jumping into this a little bit fast. But your coming back was what pushed that thought away. One of us after all of our arguments would always come back. _

"Karen," Will shook her shoulder a little bit, sitting on the edge of the coffee table. "Karen," She groaned and made an attempt to push him away. "It's time to get up,"

"No." She said turning her head to face the back of the couch. "Go away."

Will moved her body to make room so he could sit and possibly lay down next to her. "I had a girlfriend before Grace. It was high school so it didn't count. There was a boy in college that I had a crush on, but he had a crush on Grace. For a month after Michael I went to bars and tried to find myself someone but anyone who wanted me I pushed away because I didn't feel comfortable. "He felt her body against his back relax slightly. He placed a hand on her leg and began to rub it. "I hate peppers. I've never liked them as a child. I love the color green. My favorite movie is Beaches because it has Bette Midler in it." He could feel her body shaking slightly. From either laughter or tears. "I've gotten hit in the face with a snow ball before, which is the reason I never go out into the snow. I love the beach because it's soothing. I love you because you're my other half. I hate the fact that we fight with each other about things I should have talked to you about." She turned over onto her back and looked at him through her tear filled eyes. "I hate the idea of losing you."

"You're not going to lose me." She promised, repeating his words spoken to her many times before. "You can lose me after we get married," She smiled. That's what was needed. For him to open a little and it took her to walk out, but she got him. She always got him.

_The court house was never a place I'd think to get married to anyone. I thought it would be a huge church or a place with hundreds of people as our witnesses. But the courthouse was nice. It had the people we wanted there. We had the people who loved us for who we are and not who we were. It was the three of us, Jack, Grace and my parents. No one else was needed. I love you too much to lose you again. To lose you would be the end of me. _

_Talk to you soon love. _


	8. To you, Elizabeth

_To you,_

_ That's all of it. That's every single letter we've written to each other put into a single book. How it was done is beyond me, but it fit. There's more than a hundred letters from me, probably more letters from your dad. It's fifteen years worth of letters that you've asked for, so now you know. All the questions you've been asking me over the years are all in the letters. If you have any more you know you can ask me. I've always and am always there for you to talk to. We can be friends, but I'll always be your mother. I'll always be looking out for you. _

_ We'll have our fights. Fights that will have you threatening me to leave and I'll be screaming at you to get out. But knowing you now, you'll never leave. You'll never leave because you're like me. You have my stubbornness. You'll threaten to leave, like I threatened your father, but in the end you'll always come back. This place will always be your home. And you know that now too. You walk around in your green nightgown telling me you'll never leave because this is your castle and your it's princess. Which is entirely true. _

"Mama," Elizabeth Truman said coming into her room. "Are you a queen?" Karen looked at Will who was smiling, before she herself started to laugh.

"What do you mean?" Karen asked, pulling back the covers allowing Jennifer to climb into bed.

"You're the queen. Daddy is the king and I'm the princess," She explained happily. "Daddy can't be a queen mama, he's a boy." Karen raised an eyebrow at Will who was shrugging and made his way out of the room.

"Daddy can be quite the queen Elizabeth," She said tucking the five year old into bed. The little girl giggled and listened to her mother read her a story that she's heard a million times before.

_You and I may not spend much time apart, but you are definitely a daddy's girl. And you may deny it later, but the second he walks through the door I'm forgotten and you're his. You never leave his side until you're forced to. It's the funniest thing to be honest. You're daddy's girl until it's time to go to sleep and then you're mine again. You're mine in the morning and then in the evening. It's a perfect circle. _

"Mama, do we have cereal?" Elizabeth asked coming into the kitchen, holding onto the edge of the counter to help her up the two stairs leading into the area.

"Yes. We always have cereal," She said lifting her daughter up onto the counter. Karen handed her daughter an apple. Elizabeth looked at it with distain and tossed it back into the sink. "What kind of cereal do you want?"

"Lucky." Elizabeth said with a smile. "Charms." She added with a bit of a kick, slamming her feet against the wooden drawer.

"Don't start swinging your legs to much Elizabeth. You don't want your dad to get made again for the damaged drawer." She reminded, putting a bowl down filling it with cereal. She handed the five year old a spoon and placed the bowl down in front of Elizabeth who took it happily. Karen filled it halfway with milk and pointed to the bar. "You're eating over there."

"I didn't break the drawer mama," She told Karen as she made was placed on the floor and making her way over to the bar stools. Will, who appeared in the room, lifted Elizabeth onto the chair. "That was you," Elizabeth pointed out.

"What did you do Karen?" Will asked, making his way into the kitchen.

"I broke the drawer." Karen said with a raised eyebrow, smirking at Will who took the apple out of the sink and rinsed it.

"And daddy helped," Elizabeth giggled, before putting a spoonful of cereal in her mouth. Yes, the five year old Truman was very observant.

_You're grandparents love you. You'll never meet my mother, because she has passed away, but you have your dad's parents. Your grandmother loves you too much lo let you go. Sure she can be a bit scary at times, but after being yelled at about the walls, you'll learn. You're grandpa you will learn had a 'client' but it's never something you have to worry about . You'll be his favorite even if he doesn't admit it. You and Casey have him torn. _

"Elizabeth keep your hands away from the curtain," Marilyn called from the kitchen, causing her granddaughter to stiffen.

"Scary," She whispered up to her mother. Karen nodded and smiled. "Does she have super powers."

"She has scary powers." Karen whispered in her daughter's ear, causing her to giggle. Karen placed a kiss to her daughter's cheek and brought her against her chest. "Just don't touch anything,"

"Like aunt Gracie and grandma's dolls?" Grace's head shot up from her plate of cookies and looked at Karen in bewilderment.

"How did she? When did she? Did you tell her?" Grace whispered moving closer to them before Marilyn came in.

"Grace, Marilyn found out that it had been broken before you even got home." George said following Marilyn into the room. George sat down next to Karen and took Elizabeth off of her mother's lap. The conversation continued. Elizabeth Truman had her grandfather wrapped around her finger.

_You'll never forget who your family is. They aren't your immediate family, but who makes you happy. You can have a group of friends who invite you to parties, to dinners, to various activities. That's you you're real family is. You're always going to have your father and I. We don't plan on going anywhere. _

_You'll get older and you'll want to get out and explore. You're going to want to find who the real you is. It's not going to be the girl who loved to draw on walls, or help her mother dirty up the kitchen. You may have something to do with cooking or art, but it's up to you. You might want to become a teacher, because you like working with kids. Whatever it is you choose, it's your decision. Whatever you do, make sure it makes you happy. _

_In the end happiness is what I've come to love. Happiness for me is more important than money. Money is just another aspect of life; something your dad told me once, a long time ago. Choose something and someone that makes you happy. You'll feel over the moon when you find that something or someone. Believe me, in three days, I felt like I was walking on air and I loved it. _

_This book is just a stepping stone of your parent's relationship, but it's the most important step. How is it that we've started a whole relationship based on letters? I have no idea. But we did it and I wouldn't have wanted to start it any other way. _

_Talk to you soon. _


End file.
